Don’t Fall For It!

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I recently read a blog post on LinkedIn by a new website designer ‘flogging’ her website services. She named  5 pretty good reasons why we  should hire her to create a state of the art website!  And she hit one of my nerves…

One of the reasons is, I don’t have a state of the art website-mine is powered by blogger! Sigmund Freud and The Best Man of All (aka husband) would have a field day analyzing my strong out pour of emotions. But this post is not about hiring a website designer!

This is a post about staying sane; being true and honest to yourself. This is a blog about the other side of the coin! About the choices we make and feeling good about ourselves!                                                                                                                                                                                                     Here is how to Kiss                                                                                                                                                                                                                                “I’m confused! Everybody around me seems to know what I need!  They tell me what to do and want to sell me their services”- Goodbye!

Here we go:

In our heart we all want to do the right thing- the right thing that propels us forward, offers us help and solutions to our dilemmas. Our heart is begging us “to do the right thing when it comes to raising our children, keeping our marriage strong, starting our business, joining networks, investing into new equipment, upgrading our homes…and perhaps even creating a state of the art website!

This is where research comes in. I don’t know about you, but research wasn’t my favourite subject at university!  Strangely enough, of all the fun, exciting, fascinating subjects I studied in London, the most vivid lessons I remember come from my research teacher! Whenever we had to defend our hypothesis she always said: “Whatever you come up with, I can find you at least 20 research papers that state the exact opposite!”

And I swear to you, she was right!! To every argument we researched she found between five and ten papers that state exactly the opposite!

Twenty five years ago she drove me cra-ha-zy!! Today, her words feel like she’s throwing me a rescue ring!! The ring that keeps me afloat whenever confusion sets in!

I hold on to her words whenever I read stuff online that wants to tell me how to live my life, how to spice up my marriage,  how to raise my children, how to create a website, how to sell a product, how to cook spaghetti, how to dress, why I need a web designer, why I should join a particular networking group, why I should spend $85.00 on an itsy bitsy bikini, why I need to drink cold pressed juice…!  All this sounds so convincing!

Have I been wrong all this time? Have I been wrong spending my beach days in a $15.oo bikini bought by H&M? Have I under cooked my spaghetti all these years? Am I not a great wife ’cause I encourage The Best Man of All to go alone on holidays? Do I need to face the ugly truth I look like a tramp whenever I leave my home ’cause my nails are not manicured, the shoes don’t really match and my hair forgot to say hello to the hairbrush? Has my personal website left devastating foot prints on the web’cause it doesn’t fall under the label ‘professional’ look?’ 

Nope, I’m pretty convinced I’m not! But reading certain articles surely make me feel that way! You see, whenever companies or individuals want to sell us their product or services they need to justify their services and prices- obviously! So they call it

“It is our tradition…, Based on our heritage, Pure craftsmanship, Handmade, Professional, Supportive, Healthy, Better taste, Important first impressions, Common sense, Scientifically proven, The Real Thing, Do it Right, Don’t get left Behind, Copy the professionals, Be like Arnold…

As I just said, it all sounds wonderful, so promising, so real, so profound, so important and so right! Yet, it’s confusing! 

Confusing it is- because if I’m willing to sit down and research the subjects more closely I will find at least 20 research papers stating the opposite!

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It always pees me off when I read stuff like that. It’s clever marketing, that’s what it is!

Let me get back to my example, a professionally designed website. Didn’t I hear Brandon Burchard talk about

“…a website isn’t all that important? A website changes all the time?

Get one of the freebies on blogger or wordpress.

The most important thing is that people can find you.

Don’t worry about the website, concentrate  on creating content, be helpful, share, give, do good!”

See, I told you it’s confusing!

I’ve done research: Check out my all time fav girl, Alexandra Franzen, and The king of Sales, Jeffrey Gitomer (www.buygitomer.com)! Both of them are highly successful in their own field of expertise; and both of them don’t have a state of the art website! One is plain, the other one is overkill!

Both these personalities are marching to the beat of their own drum. And so can you and I! Stepping away from the ‘norm’ takes guts, courage and strength! We all have it in us to be, create and shine with the tools available to us:

personality, basic IT skills, basic network of friends, co-workers and acquaintances, writing skills, common sense, intelligence, acquired life skills. You already have everything you need! 

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You too can start marching to the beat of your own drum! Start a revolution of one! Become a trend setter! Create your own rules! As longs as nobody gets hurt in the process, go for it!

If you want to stop feeling confused about any aspect of your life decide who you are, what you want and what you need at this particular moment! Trust yourself and your instinct / your gut feeling!

If you need help, find one expert for each aspect in your life you want or need help with. Only one!

Who is your business guru? Your spiritual leader? Your motivation guy? Your fashion icon? Your health expert? Whom do you trust explicitly? Once you’ve decided stick to this one person and stop letting others and their messages confuse you! Put the shutters on!

The next time truck loads of information pour over you leaving you confused and on a limb, do your research! I’m pretty sure you’ll find at least 20 research papers why you are doing fine, just the way you are!

Did that help? Please let me know!

 

 

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