How to Kiss ‘I Can’t Afford It’ Goodbye

Mansion

 

It’s soul crushing!

It makes me feel inadequate!

Non-deserving!

Poor!

Yes, that’s what it is! Using I can’t afford it makes me feel poor!

I don’t know about you, but this is how I feel whenever I use this evil four word sentence!

You can call me lots of things. Like tight ass (literally), passionate, adventurous, opinionated, caring, frugal, fun, creative, loud, silly! And I’m all these things. But poor? Nope, that’s  not what I’m!

So why do I tell myself I can’t afford it whenever I keep my purse shut?

Let’s see… I blame my parents!                                                                                                             When I grew up and asked for my fifth Barbie doll or wanted a new scooter, roller blades, a new dress, shoes etc, my mom always told me ” No, not right now. It’s too expensive! We don’t have enough money”.

Looking back I know she could have come up with a more creative answer, like:

“You already have four Barbies, wait til Christmas, Santa might bring you one!

Or

You just got a new dress/new pair of shoes/scooter, you can’t wear two pair of shoes at the same time!

Or

“Go and ask your grandma, she’s always looking for ideas on how to surprise you!”

But no, mom came up with nothing better than “We can’t afford it!”

And just like a sponge I sponged it up. I soaked it up into my deepest of my deep brain cells (= subconsciousness) and ever since I tortured myself with this phrase!

For the longest years I had an unhealthy relationship with money! And I blame her, my mom!

Until a few years ago!  Then I gave myself a reality check!

I sat myself down on my lovely, comfy sofa in my office, poured myself a cup of hot, steamy coffee and had a serious tete a tete with myself:

tulipsandlights

“So Christina, what is it exactly you can’t afford?”

And the answers came:

“I can’t afford to purchase a yacht!”

OK, fair enough…

Second yacht

Or a Lamborghini,

lamborghini

 

or a mansion on the beach, or one of these private planes that flies with the yet stream. I couldn’t purchase my own basketball team or a soccer club, even if I tried my hardest! Nor could I get any bank to loan me enough dough to purchase one of the swanky apartments at New York’s most fashionable addresses!

And I really can’t afford a holiday on / with Laucale.com (check this out, it’s spectacular)!

luxury holiday

Ok Christina, reality check done!                                                                                                         Now just be honest, how many people actually can afford these things?

And most importantly, does it bother you that you can’t buy any of these things, items, status symbols?

Do you want to ride in a car that costs more than most people’s homes?

Has your life’s desire been to own a yacht?

No, no and no again!

 

Now that I established what I really can not buy, I moved on to the next step:

Change of lingo!

The next time I refused to part with my cash and didn’t want to put it on my credit card, I changed my inner chitter chatter!

Instead of saying : I can’t afford it,  I rephrased it to

I choose not to take / purchase/it!

Huge difference!!!

This statement puts me in control of my spending! My bank account isn’t controlling me!

I make the decision! And being in control of my decisions is powerful and sexy!

 

Last but not least:

I wrote myself a sweet list of all the items I wish to have but don’t really need, nor care about if I will get them or not.  For example, a new pair of fancy race ski boots is on this list.

Then, I practiced patience and saved my money!

I got up really early during one of these crazy sales events ( like Boxing Day here in Canada). With my sweet list in hand I ventured through the stores! When I found one of my ‘sweet items’ at least 80% off, I got it. And funny enough, most items on my list didn’t tickle me anymore; so I went home nearly empty handed!

I was just as happy and fulfilled without them!

An alternative to getting up early, fighting the crowd, is to share your sweet list with your Best Man of All (aka husband) or your friends. Wait for your birthday, or Christmas. You never know, they might surprise you!

And here we have it, once you give yourself a reality check plus you change your lingo around money (= empower yourself), you will never use the dreaded sentence I can’t afford it again!

What a genius Kiss that is!

Super excited to hear from you and your money story. Do you torture yourself with I can’t afford it or do you charge your desires to your credit cards? Let me know!

 

 

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