Celebrate a ‘Failure’

…it will see you through any personal crisis!

Our first born, our 17 year old son just suffered his first major set back in his young life: he failed his driving test! Seventeen months of driving with his mama has come to an anticlimax.

He is defastated! He is disappointed! He is embarrassed! I’ve never seen him so shaken up or so deflated as on this particular afternoon.  Not even after he broke up with his girl-friend of nine months, Morgan. What this is telling me is: he rather wants to be an N driver than a boy-friend. Fair enough!

For me it means my white knuckle runs will continue.  Riding with my teenager beats riding on a roller coaster any day! No, just kidding! He is a good driver- but apparently not that good yet.

Over the past 17 years I had countless opportunities to encourage, praise or comfort him. This is the first time I had to put my motherering skills to the test for a teenager! And the first thing I did was

I gave him a big hug!

I told him his mom failed both her tests, the theoretical and practical one, which is true. Just to make him feel better.

I told him he just experienced ‘what not to do’during the next time.

And took him out for cheesecake to celebrate ‘how not to pass a driving test’.

Yes, this afternoon taught him a few lessons:

No, he can’t always win. And no, he is not alone in ‘not passing’, it runs in the family…

Most of all I wanted to share with him, No, he is not a loser! I told him he just wasn’t ready yet.

There is always a reason why we don’t get what we want the first time around. In his case I would say he was too cocky. He thought he is Mr. Cool.

And Mr. ‘I-can-do-this‘ forgot to do a shoulder turn three times in a row at three right turns.

As soon as we arrived back home I urged him to go outside; to go for a run. I wanted him to run his frustration, his anger away – because this is what I would do.

He went downstairs….and played the piano!

He played his young heart out. His fingers danced over the keys in an angry, nevertheless beautiful fashion.

Failing’ in something happens to the best of us! That’s part of the deal. That’s part of being alive and to take part in the game called life!

The most important aspect is we don’t get discouraged by what just happened! As long as we get back into the saddle these setbacks are valuable learning lessons. Therefore, I urged our teenager to get back behind the wheel as soon as he felt like it again- and he did.

Not achieving what we want the first time around is another way of the universe telling us

I am not ready yet .

I didn’t study hard enough.

I am too cocky.

We weren’t really meant for each other (after a break-up).

I didn’t use all my resources effectively.

The universe knows what we don’t know yet:

It is a dangerous world out there on the road. The universe wants to protect me from getting hurt or my car crashed.

The job isn’t for me! The universe is protecting me from taking on a job I wouldn’t be happy in. For various reason, really. The job would be either too boring, too demanding, too just simply not right for us.

And this is why I celebrate and why I want my son to celebrate.

All it takes is a simple switch in the way we are thinking. And the sooner we learn this, the better it is for our well being.

If I can’t persuade you, please click on these links and  you will read a little something about what entrepreneurial ‘failure’ means.

Here are a few Inspirational quotes to keep the spirit high.

And if nothing helps, tune into a song! Like this one, my all time favourite!

Do you agree with celebrating? Or how do you see any set-backs?